Tidbits & Quotes: Jokes

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  • This is a collection of tidbits and quotes.
  • eMail: stefan@smalla.net

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  • Everything here is my very personal collection and does not reflect the opinions of current or past employers, nor does it stem from confidential information obtained there. Also, I do not personally share the opinion of all of the quotes posted here.

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Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Top Jack Bauer Facts

Posted Aug 31, 2008 | # | Category: Jokes

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up, and he yelled at the parrot.The parrot yelled back. J ohn shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

Joke

Posted Feb 20, 2005 | # | Category: Jokes

A lady was sitting next to a priest on a very bumpy flight.

"Father, you are a man of God, can't you do something about this terrible storm?"

"Lady, I'm in sales, not in management."

Joke

Found at Vowe.net

Posted Jan 07, 2005 | # | Category: Jokes

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